Five Things to Know About Gray Divorce in Colorado

"Gray divorce" — divorce after the age of 50 — has been rising steadily for decades. According to research from the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate among adults 50 and older has roughly doubled since the 1990s. If you're in this group, you're far from alone.

But divorce later in life is different from divorce at 30 or 35. The financial landscape is more complex, the emotional terrain is deeper, and the decisions you make now can shape the rest of your life in ways that younger divorcing couples don't typically face.

After more than 25 years of working in Colorado family law, I've helped many clients navigate exactly this situation. Here are five things I want everyone considering a gray divorce to understand.

1. Retirement assets are often the biggest issue — not the house.

When most people think about dividing assets in a divorce, they think about the family home first. And the house is certainly important. But in gray divorce, retirement accounts are frequently the largest and most consequential assets on the table.

Colorado is an "equitable distribution" state, which means marital property is divided fairly — though not necessarily 50/50. Retirement accounts accumulated during the marriage, including 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and deferred compensation plans, are generally considered marital property subject to division.

The key here is understanding what you have, what it's worth, and how different division scenarios affect your long-term financial security. This is an area where having professional guidance matters enormously. A mistake in how retirement assets are divided — or how they're distributed — can cost you tens of thousands of dollars over the course of your retirement.

2. Social Security has rules that many people don't know about.

If you were married for at least 10 years, you may be eligible to receive Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse's earnings record — even after the divorce. This doesn't reduce your ex-spouse's benefits at all; it's a separate entitlement.

To qualify, you generally need to be unmarried, at least 62, and your ex-spouse must be entitled to Social Security benefits. If your own benefits would be higher, you'll receive those instead — the Social Security Administration essentially pays the higher of the two amounts.

This is one of those details that can significantly affect your post-divorce financial picture, but it often gets overlooked in the rush to get the legal process done. It's worth understanding before you finalize any agreements.

3. Health insurance needs a plan.

If you're currently covered under your spouse's employer-sponsored health insurance, your coverage will end when the divorce is finalized. This is a critical issue for people who are under 65 and not yet eligible for Medicare.

COBRA allows you to continue your ex-spouse's coverage for up to 36 months, but it's expensive — you'll pay the full premium plus an administrative fee. The Colorado health insurance marketplace is another option, and depending on your income after the divorce, you may qualify for subsidies.

The point is that health insurance should be part of your divorce planning, not an afterthought. Knowing your options and their costs helps you negotiate more effectively and avoid unpleasant surprises.

4. The emotional dimension is real — and it's OK to get help with it.

After 20, 30, or 40 years of marriage, divorce isn't just a legal event — it's an identity shift. Even when the decision is clearly the right one, the grief, uncertainty, and disorientation can be profound.

Many of my clients describe feeling like they're starting over at a time in life when they expected to be settled. Some feel embarrassed or ashamed, even when they've done nothing wrong. These feelings are completely normal, and they deserve attention — not just from a therapist (though that's valuable too), but from the professional who's guiding you through the process.

That's one of the reasons I integrate divorce coaching into my legal services. The legal process goes better when you're making decisions from a place of clarity rather than crisis.

5. You don't have to spend a fortune on legal fees.

One of the biggest fears I hear from gray divorce clients is about the cost of the legal process itself — that they'll spend a fortune on attorney fees at exactly the moment they can least afford it.

This is a legitimate concern. But it's also where the Licensed Legal Paraprofessional model can make a real difference. As an LLP, I provide many of the same services as a family law attorney — including court representation, document preparation, and legal advice — at about half the cost.

And with flexible service tiers ranging from à la carte help to full representation, you're not locked into an all-or-nothing arrangement. You can get exactly the level of support your situation requires.